It started when making contact with my high school cohort: childhood and teen reminiscences. People remembered things about my childhood that I did not. Apparently I invited my entire grade three class to come to my house so I could entertain them with a puppet show, for example.
During the preparations for the party, the scavenging of vintage photos from long-forgotten albums and the conversations at the Birthday Bash, many memories were sparked and rekindled.
Unfortunately, my mother passed away unexpectedly one month before the party. This meant that at the same time I was co-planning the party, I was also grieving and beginning the behemoth process of dealing with her estate.
My mother had a large house, packed to the rafters. She never threw anything away. Job One in managing her estate involved going through all her possessions and every document. My mother’s house harbored reminders of every age, every trip we took, every fad since the 1950’s.
Going through my mother’s house became an unavoidable life review.
I found the note my father left on my mother’s car, inviting her for a first date. I found photos I didn’t know existed. My childhood books. Every birthday card I ever received as a child. Every scrap of paper I brought home from school -- my artwork, my class notes, my school projects, my cringe-inducing essays. Awards and prizes I can’t remember winning. The letter from the dogsitter explaining how my dog had died during one of our trips away. Most of my toys -- my earliest dolls, my Easy Bake oven, my Spirograph set, my microscope, my hulu hoop. A painting done for me by a school friend who died ten years ago.
It was very difficult to go through everything. (To be truthful, I’m not done yet. I have eight more boxes of papers in the attic to excavate). What I have seen has evoked every possible emotion. Discovery. Joy. Grief. Pride. Sorrow. Guilt. Dismay. Regret. Triumph. Wonder.
It was a life changing experience.
In addition to my 50 Frolics, I’m committed to complete (at least) 50 Creative Projects in my 50th year. One of them this blog. Another is working through The Vein of Gold -- Julia Cameron’s sequel to The Artist's Way. The latter is a book that has meant a great deal to me. It educated and inspired me. It facilitated major insights. It sparked me to leave the corporate world for creative pursuits.
I’ve purchased at least a dozen copies of the Artist’s Way. Every time I ‘lend’ a copy to a friend, I end up having to buy a replacement.
I wanted to honour The Artist's Way during my fiftieth year...but I've re-read it and re-done the exercises so many times, it didn’t seem appropriate to go through it yet again. Instead, I’m opting to work through The Vein of Gold -- the sequel to The Artist's Way and perhaps the only Julia Cameron book I haven’t yet read.
As luck would have it, one of the first exercises is a life review -- to divide up one’s life into five or ten year periods and jot down all the major players, factors, events and memories from the time. I’ve been beautifully equipped for this task, having just gone through all the mementoes in my mother’s house.
This exercise is more structured, however -- more guided and more fruitful. It’s taken me a week but I’ve sketched out my first fifty years. It’s been a draining, illuminating experience.
I encourage you to do the same: Clear some time to think about your life. (This will take several focused sessions, so pace yourself such that you can give thoughtful reflection to each life chapter). What do you remember from ages 0 - 5? 5-10? 10-15? 15- 20? 20-25? 25 - 30? 30 - 40? 40 - 50? Who were the key players? What were you chief activities? Amusements? Challenges? As you complete your notes from each time period, ask yourself for insights about yourself at that time: what kind of person were you? What was your chief motivation? Failing? What message would you give yourself at that time, if you could?
No comments:
Post a Comment