Find Old Friends

There are no friends like old friends.

Sometimes we don’t like thinking about past life chapters for fear of traipsing into negative memories.  However, if you take the plunge, you will find ‘hidden gems’ in every chapter of your life.  For every ‘jerk’ not worth remembering, there are also some kind people -- friends at the time -- with whom you’ve lost contact for no particular reason.

If you choose to, you can use your fiftieth year to reconnect with these lost, hidden gems in your past.

Facebook and other social media are great for this, but personally, I prefer using the phone.

One thing I learned during my Fiftieth year:  it’s possible -- and fun -- to pick up the phone and call anyone from your past. 

Of course, it’s helpful if you give some context:  “This is a voice from your past.  It’s [insert the name they knew you by] from [insert the place where you knew each other].”  You don’t need an excuse other than “I was thinking about you and thought I’d call.  Is now a good time to chat?”

Using this completely obvious and easy technique, I was able to reconnect with some wonderful people with whom I’d had no contact in decades. These phone calls lead to some rewarding conversations and fun visits throughout my fiftieth year.  I highly recommend it.

I can also tell you how wonderful it is to receive these calls.  Recently, Harry, my long-lost housemate from grad school tracked me down and called me, out of the blue.  It was so good to hear Harry’s voice!  It meant so much to reconnect and to learn about his wonderful (some would say charmed) life in Texas.  It warmed my heart to know that he cared enough to track me down.  (I’m still not sure how he found me, half a country away but he’s always been a clever guy).

Activity:  Is there anyone you’d like to reach out to during this year?  Is there someone you’re not presently in contact with but would like to be?  Is there anyone you remember fondly from the past?  Pick one person.  Find their number.  (If you can’t look them up, ask someone who might know someone who might know).  Call them. 

*****

What about you?  I'd love to hear about your experiences tracking down hidden gems from the past -- or having nice people from your past find you -- message me or leave a comment below.

Your Clothes are Talking About You

How we present ourselves to the world says a lot about us.  Our clothes communicate how we see ourselves.  Our personalities and preferences.  How well we treat ourselves. 

Activity:  Take a look at what you’re wearing right now:  what does it say about you?

My typical daily attire is jeans, a collared shirt and slip-on shoes or, more often, given than I live in California, sandals.  It’s comfortable and very casual.  I tend not to wear fancier fare -- or makeup -- unless I’m attending a meeting or a social event.  Even though I make jewelry, I often forget to wear it.  My daily ‘look’ says I’m not very invested in myself or my appearance.  It says I’m more practical than feminine.  Unless I don jewelry I’ve made, you’d never suspect, that my vanilla apparel sheathes the creative spirit of a multi-media artist.  Or a published author, life coach and entrepreneur.  Or a well-traveled adventurer. 

I’m working on it.  Since I turned fifty, I’ve made a point of finding some clothes that better reflect who I am inside.  I’m shifting from covering my carcass to promoting my personality.  For example, I just got a terrific, one-of-a-kind jacket made of six different fabrics that somehow go together.  As an added treat, the designer tailored it to better fit me. 

Activity:  Think about who you really are today, as you’re turning fifty.  Put together an attractive outfit that reflects the current you.  By ‘outfit’, I mean a complete head-to-toe look:  Socks, underwear, garments, outerwear, shoes, accessories -- even hair and, if you desire, makeup.  You might have the elements in your closet already...or perhaps you need to create or purchase something new.  Think of this as your ‘birthday ensemble’ or, dare I say it, your ‘birthday suit’.

Another element here:  treating ourselves well, with respect.  How well do your clothes fit?  Are there items in your closet that are unflattering or in need of repair?  Case in point:  does your underwear need upgrading? 

Activity:  Go through your wardrobe, piece by piece.  Remove anything that does not reflect the real you.  Eliminate anything that is unflattering, that doesn’t fit or that needs mending.  Donate, sell or toss these items. 

Get Rid of What You Don't Need

You might not be a pack-rat.  Your living and working spaces may be free of clutter.  But look around and see what what excessive objects are occupying your space.  What are you holding onto that you don't really need?

There is some kind of supernatural process by which stuff accumulates.  Personally, I'd rather collect interesting experiences (e.g. Fifty Frolics) than be weighed down by my belongings.  I sure don't need everything I own and I bet the same is true for you.

For example:  are you holding on to supplies you might need 'someday'...but haven't touched in years?  Have you been lugging around books that really aren't that important to you?  Does your closet hold items that don't fit or don't flatter or don't get worn in your present life?  Are you hanging onto items others have given you that you don't really need or want...but you feel guilty about getting rid of them?

My mother was a shopper.  Also a 'collector'.  It was eye-opening indeed to clean out her house after she passed away.  When you are forced to go through all of someone else's stuff, you realize that's all it is:  stuff.  (If you haven't seen the George Carlin 'stuff' comedy routine in a while, check it out.  There's no better indictment of how chained we can become to our belongings).

Going through my mother's possessions gave me fresh eyes when I looked at my own things.  Even though I'm not a clutterer, I'm now better able to see what I have that I don't need -- and to get rid of it.   It became easy to winnow books, prune my closet and donate art supplies to others.

Doing so felt freeing and fabulous.  I was delighted to pass on objects others would use and appreciate.  I was tickled to clear space in my office and my home.  You can too.

Fifty is at terrific time to let go of:

* things we don’t need

* things we don’t like

* things we aren’t using

* things that make us feel guilty or otherwise icky

* things we’re holding onto because they might be useful ‘someday’

* things that need repair -- that we haven’t repaired for the past year or longer

* clothes that don’t fit or aren’t flattering

* things we want to give to someone ‘someday’.  Why not give it to them now?

Give yourself a gift by jettisoning your excess belongings. The less you hang onto, the more space and freedom you’ll have. And the more your living space will reflect the current ‘you’.

Only hold onto:

* things you love

* things that make you feel good

* things you use

* things in good repair (or that you commit to repair within the next month)

* things that fit you well and look good on you

Activity:  Pick the easiest possible space to purge – a sock drawer, a cupboard, the bathroom, wherever.  Remove all the contents.  As you do so, get rid of what you don’t need.  Give it away, throw it away, sell it – do what makes sense to get it out of your space.  If in doubt, you don’t need it. 

Activity:  Obtain three cardboard boxes.  Mark one ‘donate’, one ‘give’ and one ‘sell’. Put them beside a large garbage can.  Now:  walk around your living space. Find at least ten items that belong in these receptacles.

Activity:  Make a list of the rooms or areas of your living space that you need to prune.  Repeat the preceding two activities until you’ve worked your way through your list.  Maybe you tackle one room a month or one drawer or cupboard per week -- find a schedule that works for you so that you can go through your entire living space this year. Jettison what you don’t need.

Activity:  Set up an ongoing system by which you will keep clutter at bay.  Some people have a one in - one out rule.  (If they buy something new, they get rid of something old).  Others make a regular practice of pruning their belongings throughout the year.  Another option is to schedule an annual spring cleaning/purge to go through their entire living space.

What about you?  I'd love to hear about the de-cluttering, pruning or purging techniques that work for you -- message me or leave a comment below.