Final Tally

What a year it's been!  Thanks to my 'Fifty' projects, my fiftieth year has been pretty terrific.  I've done a lot more of the things I love -- and less of those I don't.

My main goal was to enjoy (at least) Fifty Frolics during my fiftieth year.  I not only met this challenge...I doubled it, racking up 100 Frolics during the year.  I so enjoyed these romps, I plan to make this an annual thing:  to aim for (at least) fifty frolics for every subsequent year of my life.
A second goal was to do (at least) Fifty Creative Projects this year. This was not only enjoyable but fulfilling.  I'm especially tickled to have written four books this year.  My novel and a workbook are being edited.  Here are the others:

GOAL SETTING & PLANNING FOR MULTI-TALENTED PEOPLE:  How to figure out what you really want -- and how to actually get it
Available here for Kindle or PC for only $2.99:  http://amzn.to/goalsettingkindle

  

And here's the newest one.  I'm thrilled that this blog and my 'Turning Fifty' projects have led to this self-help guide. It's packed with activities, examples and ideas to make the most of turning fifty -- to make your fiftieth year whatever you’d like it to be.

50 WAYS TO ENJOY TURNING FIFTY: Make the Most of Your Milestone Birthday to Have the Best Year Ever
 
Available here for Kindle or PC for only $2.99:   http://bit.ly/MakingTheMostofTurningFifty
 







Another goal was to take better care of my body -- hauling my middle-aged carcass into (at least) Fifty Fitness Classes, including bikram yoga and zumba.  Mission accomplished -- but the results are not what I hoped. My metabolism seems to be slowing so next year, I'll have to give more attention to my fitness and health.

My other projects were purely for pleasure:  I love cooking and trying new things so it was lovely to make (at least) 50 New Recipes this year.  I adore reading, so I aimed to read (at least) 50 Books this year. Along the same line, I wanted to watch (at least) 50 Films and listen -- really listen -- to (at least) 50 CDs.  I committed to treat myself better...to the tune of indulging in (at least) 50 Treats during the year. Part of that was recognizing how soothing it is for me to be near water -- so I set a goal of (at least) 50 Water Visits.  I also aimed for 50 Visits with Friends.

I'm delighted to report that I met or exceeded every one of these goals.

However, as I reported earlier,  There was one 50 Project that I abandoned early on.  I had thought I would take (at least) 50 'Fun Classes' during my fiftieth year -- and I ended up going to none.  The irony here is that, in any given year over the past decade, I've taken fun classes pretty much every week -- art or acting or even canine related courses.  It's surprising that this, of all projects, is that one that never get off the ground. And yet I'm fine with that.

The point of all my 'fifty projects' was to make the most of my fiftieth year -- to do more of what I love and less of what I don't -- and that's exactly what happened. Even better -- I've inspired others to do the same.


Blog readers have written to tell me about special events they organized or simple pleasures they re-discovered or once-in-a-lifetime trips they had taken.  Ellen treated herself to a month's vacation at a beach house -- honoring her happiest memories from her youth.  Oliver went on safari.  Marloes made a point of attending particular concerts that she otherwise would have let pass her by.  Kate used her milestone as an excuse to sleep more -- and nap whenever she wished -- guilt-free.

I'm concluding this, my fiftieth year, with a sense of accomplishment and great gratitude.

I've also learned that it is possible to make the most of life, even when life becomes challenging.  To my surprise, I managed to make this a wonderful year, despite dealing with a profound personal loss (my mother's passing) and many practical challenges (e.g. managing her estate, 3000 miles away). I learned that even horrible events don't have to define your life -- or an entire year.

I enter my fifty-first year with new optimism and high hopes.  I'm going to give careful thought to how I'd like to live the next twelve months -- and I invite you to do the same.

*****

I'd love to hear from you -- message me or leave a comment below.

My New Book!

It's here!  I'm thrilled and delighted to announce my newest book:

50 WAYS TO ENJOY TURNING FIFTY: 

Make the Most of Your Milestone Birthday to Have the Best Year Ever

Only $2.99.  Available here for PC or Kindle:   
http://bit.ly/MakingTheMostofTurningFifty

This self-help guide is packed with activities, examples and ideas to make the most of turning fifty -- to make your fiftieth year whatever you’d like it to be.

I've applied my expertise as an author, coach and Ph.D. specializing in creativity to develop and tailor this book for people to make the most of their mid-life milestone.  This book is designed to help you:

* appreciate your life thus far

* understand yourself better -- your unique attributes and what’s truly important to you

* do more of what you love -- and less of what you don’t

* strengthen important relationships

* treat yourself well

* have fun

* put things in order

* get rid of what you don’t need

* live a life you love

* put things in place for the future, and

* establish your legacy

Of course, you don’t need to do ALL of these things to have a terrific fiftieth year.  This book is designed so you can focus on whatever is important, appealing or interesting to you -- you can browse and bounce around the 50 Ways however you like.

How do you feel about turning fifty?

If you’re happy and excited and looking forward to a wonderful year:  this book is designed to help you make the most of your milestone.

If you’re feeling neutral -- that’s it’s just another birthday -- let me ask you this:  what if it didn’t have to be just another ho-hum year?  This book is packed with fifty ways to make this your best year ever.

If you’re full of dread:  this book will help you handle it...and in fact, turn it into an opportunity to live the life you really want.

Twenty is a time of exploring.  Thirty is a time of proving.  Forty is a time of establishing.  Fifty is a time of reflecting, re-connecting and re-grouping.  It’s a pivot point to the rest of our lives.  Why not use your milestone birthday to enjoy your life, improve your life and live the life you want?

50 WAYS TO ENJOY TURNING FIFTY: Make the Most of Your Milestone Birthday to Have the Best Year Ever
 
Available here for Kindle or PC for only $2.99:   http://bit.ly/MakingTheMostofTurningFifty

*****

Looking forward to your feedback on this -- message me or leave a comment below. 

Keeping Up Appearances

"Aging Gracefully" by Linda Moskalyk

One unavoidable hurdle one must face when turning fifty:  our appearance.  It's startling to look in the mirror and see a fifty year old staring back.  

Actually, until last year, I was feeling pretty good on this front.  I felt healthy and in shape and happy.  I considered myself reasonably fit, relative to others my age.

When I attended a joint 50th Birthday Party last summer, I was eager to reconnect with folks I hadn't seen since high school.  I was looking forward to the event, even though it had been a very stressful, challenging month leading up to the event -- my mother had passed away unexpectedly one month before  I was left, as her only relative, to sort out everything.  The strain of these weeks took its toll emotionally, psychologically and physically.  I wasn't sleeping well.  I was self-medicating with comfort food and comfort wine.

Still, when the party rolled around, I was feeling reasonably good about myself and my appearance.  Especially given the circumstances.

Okay, I confess:  I wasn't entirely delighted with the ravages of the prior month so I had my pal Jani do my makeup -- to work her professional magic to heal what she could.  

Let's be honest:  it's unnerving to meet people one hasn't seen for thirty-one years.  There's an assessment process inherent in the reconnection:  how do we look?  Are we recognizable from our teen selves?  How attractive are we?  And the kicker:  do we look (cough) fifty?

Well, apparently I went to high school with many very kind people.  They said very complementary things about my appearance -- and most of them didn't even know what hell I'd been going through. 

Subsequently, photos from the event were swapped and shared.  Damn.  Talk about a reality check.  The camera revealed the truth:  alas, I am a doughy, wrinkled, fifty year old.

Well, really, what was I expecting?  I am, after all, fifty.  Fitness has not been a focus of my life in recent years.  My drug of choice is food.  Runner up:  wine.  I have not partaken in plastic surgery or botox or any of the other California traditions.  

So what are my options?  I could go about changing my appearance -- exercise more, consume less, go under the knife.  Or I could change my attitude about my appearance.  To understand the folly of desiring to look younger or better than one does.  To accept my current state as it is.  To age gracefully.

At some point, most middle-aged people confront this issue:  how to deal with one's current appearance.  It's a very personal way of dealing with the crux of being fifty.  Our youth is gone.  Decades have flown by.  How do we want to present ourselves to the world at this point in time?  How shall we deal with the effects of the decades to come? 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this -- message me or leave your comments below.

Significant Women

Watercolour Print by Ellen Spencer

When my friend Mari turned fifty, she invited thirteen female friends to a luncheon to honour "significant women in her life". Over sparkling wine and a light salad meal, she gave a short speech to explain why each guest was there.  Mari noted the commonalities among them -- how the threads of their lives had woven together. 

How was the event?

"It was such fun," reports Mari,  "I've decided I'll gather this group together also next year!"

I would love to replicate this wonderful idea -- however to do so, I would have to overcome some logistical challenges.  First, the Significant Women in my Life are far-flung around the globe.  Hard to imagine they'd fly into California for lunch.  (Although, goodness knows, if they were amenable, we could make a heckuva fun, frolic-filled week out of it!)

Second, I haven't actually met some of Significant Women in my Life.  When I think about the women who've had the biggest influence on me, topping the list is my creative hero, Julia Cameron.  Her book, The Artist's Way, triggered my escape from the corporate world into more creative pursuits. 

Another personal choice would be Mollie Katzen, author of many seminal vegetarian cookbooks beginning with The Moosewood Cookbook (a.k.a. the Vegetarian Bible).  As someone who's not eaten meat for 38 years, I'm grateful indeed to have had Mollie Katzen's recipes enhancing my culinary repertoire.

In an ideal world, I'd love to invite my career role models -- Martha Beck (Finding Your Own North Star, The Joy Diet),  Barbara Sher (I Could Do Anything if Only I Knew What It Was, Live the Life you Love),  Susan Jeffers (Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, Embracing Uncertainty) and M.J. Ryan (Attitudes of Gratitude, The Happiness Makeover).  I'd had the honour of corresponding with them...and actually collaborating with the latter two on a book about happiness.  What a thrill it would be to meet these women in person -- to bask in their wisdom, candour and good humour.

And while I'm dreaming, I'd also invite to my Fantasy Lunch with Significant Women in my Life those artists who have inspired and enlightened me:  multi-talented artists such as Joni Mitchell and Joan Armatrading plus writers including Margaret Atwood, Anne Tyler and J.K. Rowling.  There is something about their creative works that resonates deep down and echoes throughout the past few decades.

This is one pleasure of a milestone birthday, like turning fifty:  to identify and appreciate those people -- women AND men -- who have enhanced our first five decades. 

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Activity:  Who are the Significant Women in your Life?  Whom can you gather together for a celebration? 

Activity:  Write the Significant Women in your Life to express your appreciation. 

Activity:  Who are the Significant Men in your Life?  Whom can you gather together for a celebration? 

Activity:  Write the Significant Men in your Life to express your appreciation. 

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I'd love to hear about your experiences -- message me or leave a comment.

Life Chapters

A few months ago, those of us who went to high school together reconnected at a joint fiftieth birthday party to celebrate our shared milestone.

It was fascinating to interact with folks after three decades apart.  Logically, these people were strangers -- unknown adults bearing little in common with their younger selves.  Yet because of our shared childhood history, there was something deep already established among us.  Walking around the room, talking with people was like discovering a lost tribe to which we all belonged.

Steve is a case in point. We first met when we were three years old when our families lived in the same apartment building.  We attended the same schools and went our separate ways after high school graduation.

We had no contact until the joint fiftieth party. Absent this event, it is unlikely our paths would have recrossed in our lifetimes.  We live 3000 miles apart.  We work in different fields.  We belong to different social networking platforms.

It was fun to chitchat in person at the party.  Thanks to my Fifty Frolics project, we're continuing to dialogue about our milestone.  Whereas my present focus is on making the most of turning fifty, Steve has a different perspective:

"As I look back, I've noticed that life can be broken into stages. Elementary school, high school, college years, gap years, different jobs, different hobbies and activities, marriage, kids, pets, retirement, sunset years.... So I guess that if I was to pass any life-goal type advice on, it would be to recognize the particular life-stage you're in and to build a set of goals according to that, preparing for each of the next expected milestones.

For me, 49, 50, 51.... I honestly don't feel that much different from year to year, so I don't tend to look at 50 as a milestone. Instead, I feel my next milestone will probably be retirement. So my most immediate "50" list is more of a list of things I'd like to do before I retire. For instance, just as you'd like to really listen to 50 albums this year - I've accumulated about 2000 albums that I'd like to listen to before I retire....Of those hundreds of artists I'd like to see as many live shows as I can....Another "50" list I have is my reading list. But it continually grows and changes, influenced by events and interests at any given point in life. So I have a similar approach to yours, but I find my time frames differ and vary in accordance with different life events." 

I agree. The important thing is to find a framework that motivates you to truly enjoy your life.  Whether you're focusing on this day, this week, this month, this year or your current life chapter,  what's important, meaningful and fulfilling to you?   How do you want to live your life? 

What about you?  How do you parse the significant chapters in your life?  How do you view your present life epoch? What are your priorities or goals during this time?  Message me or leave a comment.

About Time

One fulfilling consequence of this blog has been receiving reactions from other people turning fifty.

Take Mari's approach to her fiftieth birthday, for example: 

"My milestone is approaching fast. I have invited my relatives (there are lots of them) to a nearby museum centre where is also a museum of horology. (http://www.kellomuseo.fi/englanniksi.pdf) I just visited the horology museum and can now guide my relatives though it. Time and its passing is suitable theme for my milestone."

Suitable indeed.  It's difficult not to think about the concept of time when one contemplates the years we've already lived, and those yet to unfold.

I can recall slow summer afternoons during my childhood -- spent wondering how on earth to fill the days until school started in September.  The eons that seemed to lumber between breakfast and bedtime.

Or the impatient angst of my teen self, cramming as many extracurricular activities and two part-time jobs into the week to combat the boredom of living in a small, rural town.  It seemed like it would be forever before I would graduate and leave for university.

Then, at university, time suddenly sped up.  Poof! It was December and my first set of exams.  Poof! It was third year!  Poof!  I was finished and thrust into my next life chapter.

And time has seemed to speed up every year since then.  The months and (how is it possible?!) years have spun by faster and faster.  

These days, the weeks slip by so quickly, they blur together. I'm barely begun on Monday morning when suddenly, it's the weekend.  Or the next Monday. 

It's difficult to enjoy the passage of time when I'm feeling this temporal whiplash.

But I'm trying. Every day, several times a day, I take a few moments to just 'be'. 

Plus I'm giving special attention to this particular year -- my fiftieth.  I'm endeavouring to spend these particular fifty-two weeks well.  The rationale for aiming for (at least) 50 Frolics this year is to make a point of enjoying this time.  I'm committed to (at least) 50 Creative Projects to imbue these 365 days with purpose. My other fiftieth projects -- trying (at least) 50 New Recipes and reading (at least) 50 Books -- are a way of enriching my life during this particular period.

Will the days ever slow down?  Later in life, will time seem to decelerate?  I wonder.

***

Activity:  Think about the concept of 'time'.  What does it mean to you?  What do you notice about its passage?  What has been your perspective on time during different chapters of your life?  For example, how did you regard time as a child?  As a young adult?  Now?

Activity:  What can you do to make the most of this particular year? What would be a meaningful use of your time?

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