Final Tally

What a year it's been!  Thanks to my 'Fifty' projects, my fiftieth year has been pretty terrific.  I've done a lot more of the things I love -- and less of those I don't.

My main goal was to enjoy (at least) Fifty Frolics during my fiftieth year.  I not only met this challenge...I doubled it, racking up 100 Frolics during the year.  I so enjoyed these romps, I plan to make this an annual thing:  to aim for (at least) fifty frolics for every subsequent year of my life.
A second goal was to do (at least) Fifty Creative Projects this year. This was not only enjoyable but fulfilling.  I'm especially tickled to have written four books this year.  My novel and a workbook are being edited.  Here are the others:

GOAL SETTING & PLANNING FOR MULTI-TALENTED PEOPLE:  How to figure out what you really want -- and how to actually get it
Available here for Kindle or PC for only $2.99:  http://amzn.to/goalsettingkindle

  

And here's the newest one.  I'm thrilled that this blog and my 'Turning Fifty' projects have led to this self-help guide. It's packed with activities, examples and ideas to make the most of turning fifty -- to make your fiftieth year whatever you’d like it to be.

50 WAYS TO ENJOY TURNING FIFTY: Make the Most of Your Milestone Birthday to Have the Best Year Ever
 
Available here for Kindle or PC for only $2.99:   http://bit.ly/MakingTheMostofTurningFifty
 







Another goal was to take better care of my body -- hauling my middle-aged carcass into (at least) Fifty Fitness Classes, including bikram yoga and zumba.  Mission accomplished -- but the results are not what I hoped. My metabolism seems to be slowing so next year, I'll have to give more attention to my fitness and health.

My other projects were purely for pleasure:  I love cooking and trying new things so it was lovely to make (at least) 50 New Recipes this year.  I adore reading, so I aimed to read (at least) 50 Books this year. Along the same line, I wanted to watch (at least) 50 Films and listen -- really listen -- to (at least) 50 CDs.  I committed to treat myself better...to the tune of indulging in (at least) 50 Treats during the year. Part of that was recognizing how soothing it is for me to be near water -- so I set a goal of (at least) 50 Water Visits.  I also aimed for 50 Visits with Friends.

I'm delighted to report that I met or exceeded every one of these goals.

However, as I reported earlier,  There was one 50 Project that I abandoned early on.  I had thought I would take (at least) 50 'Fun Classes' during my fiftieth year -- and I ended up going to none.  The irony here is that, in any given year over the past decade, I've taken fun classes pretty much every week -- art or acting or even canine related courses.  It's surprising that this, of all projects, is that one that never get off the ground. And yet I'm fine with that.

The point of all my 'fifty projects' was to make the most of my fiftieth year -- to do more of what I love and less of what I don't -- and that's exactly what happened. Even better -- I've inspired others to do the same.


Blog readers have written to tell me about special events they organized or simple pleasures they re-discovered or once-in-a-lifetime trips they had taken.  Ellen treated herself to a month's vacation at a beach house -- honoring her happiest memories from her youth.  Oliver went on safari.  Marloes made a point of attending particular concerts that she otherwise would have let pass her by.  Kate used her milestone as an excuse to sleep more -- and nap whenever she wished -- guilt-free.

I'm concluding this, my fiftieth year, with a sense of accomplishment and great gratitude.

I've also learned that it is possible to make the most of life, even when life becomes challenging.  To my surprise, I managed to make this a wonderful year, despite dealing with a profound personal loss (my mother's passing) and many practical challenges (e.g. managing her estate, 3000 miles away). I learned that even horrible events don't have to define your life -- or an entire year.

I enter my fifty-first year with new optimism and high hopes.  I'm going to give careful thought to how I'd like to live the next twelve months -- and I invite you to do the same.

*****

I'd love to hear from you -- message me or leave a comment below.

Living the Life You Love

I started my Fifty Frolics projects to make the most of turning fifty.  As I'm experiencing it, this means doing more of what I enjoy...and enjoying my life more.

It seems that, prior to this year, I didn't make a point of doing so.  It's not clear why.  I can't explain why I denied myself simple pleasures.  Or why I did less of the activities I enjoy.

The good news is that I'm using this milestone birthday to make some simple adjustments -- and, unexpectedly, I'm finding my life is getting better and better.

Now YOU don't have to wait for a milestone birthday -- if you simply decide to want to enjoy your life more, you can.

How to live the life you love?

1.  First, set the intention to enjoy your life more. Choose to live the life you love.  Make it a daily practice to remind yourself of your desire to enjoy your life more.

2.  Take a moment to appreciate those elements of your life that are working well right now.  Try it:  List five or ten things in your life for which you're grateful.  (Even better if you make this a daily habit).  These are the cornerstones for living the life you love.

3.  Now, think back over your lifetime.  What are things or activities that have made you happy?  What have you really enjoyed?  What's been fulfilling? What do you wish you could do more of?

4.  Is there anything that hasn't yet been a part of your life that you think you might like to try?  Perhaps a new activity or skill?  Is there an experience for which you're yearning?

5.  What would like to experience less of?  What would you like to reduce or eliminate from your life?  These are the things you will be replacing with more appealing options.

6.  Look at your lists.  What jumps out at you as being the most important, the most fun or the most interesting things you'd really, truly love to have in your life?

7.  Devise ways to make it happen. If you're yearning to spend more time in nature, for example, figure out a way to do so at least once a week.  If you're hankering to learn to play guitar, sign up for a class or ask someone for lessons.

8.  Keep track of how you're doing -- once a month or so, ask yourself "On a scale from 1 - 10, how much am I enjoying my life?"  If the number stays the same or goes down, ask yourself what adjustments you can make this month.  If the number goes up, pat yourself on the back -- you're doing exactly what you intended:  you're enjoying your life more.

I'd love to hear from you about this -- message me or leave a comment below.

A Matter of Life & Death

Last week, I got the phone call no woman wants to get:  The breast center found something 'odd' (their term) during my routine exam.  They scheduled me for more testing.

I returned for a bout of breast-twisting and smooshing so vigorous that I needed to remind the technician that my breasts were not, in fact, detachable. 

The subsequent ultrasound concluded with the pronouncement that whatever 'oddness' there was in the first tests was no longer evident.  I'm fine, in other words. And grateful for my continued good health. For the most part, I've been pretty darned healthy over the past five decades. I don't believe I take it for granted but events like this provide a great reminder to actively appreciate my health.

This was also a vivid example of yet another bout of gratitude characterizing my fiftieth year. In reflecting over my life, I can't help but be grateful for many of my experiences thus far.  The opportunities to travel, to learn and to create figure prominently.  

I've made a point of expressing appreciation for significant people in my life, personally and professionally.  (More on that in an upcoming post).

I'm also aware that I've sidestepped a lot of drama that other people endure. I'm grateful to have lived a relatively unburdened life. (I suspect one reason that I've been thrown so off kilter by my mother's recent, unexpected passing is that I've had so little drama to deal with in the past. It's been an adjustment to handle the many challenges that have arisen as a result of her untimely death).

Another thing I've noticed lately is that I'm much more appreciative of the little blessings in  my daily life. 

For example, this was one of those weekends that felt good, rich and full.  Nothing particularly exciting was happening...just playing with our dogs, pruning fruit trees, reading, installing mosaic tile, playing board games, listening to music and whatnot...and yet the overriding emotion throughout was one of 'contentment'.  It just felt good to 'be'.

One of my professional heroes is M.J. Ryan, author of Attitudes of Gratitude -- a seminal book on the topic. She contributed a wonderful story to my co-authored Happiness book that demonstrated 'blessings in disguise'.  The punchline:  some gifts come wrapped in sandpaper.  

Take Lisa for example.  She underwent simple day surgery and things went horribly wrong.  She went into anaphylactic shock and almost died. Doesn't sound like much of a gift or blessing, does it?  But when Lisa unwrapped the metaphorical sandpaper, she found plenty.

"Well this experience certainly did wake me up," she wrote me recently.  "I am no longer complacent or bored.  I am grateful for the people in my life and mindful of how I treat people.   Normally we keep birthdays pretty quiet,  I decided then and there that I was never taking another birthday for granted.   We had 35 people here to help me celebrate my 50th last July.   I joined the gym, and am getting very active.  Enjoying life and renewing old friendships and nurturing the existing ones....I just joined a yoga class and am going to sign up for conversational Italian. (I am aiming to be fluent enough for a future trip to Italy)." 

Now you needn't wait for a matter of life and death to be grateful or to express gratitude for all that's in your life. Turning fifty is a natural time to reflect on life thus far -- and to express appreciation for all the people and events for which we're grateful -- and yet the milestone doesn't matter.  Whatever our age, we have the capacity for gratitude every day we breathe.

It doesn't matter what's going on in our lives -- there's always *something* for which we can be grateful.  We're breathing.   We have water to drink.  We have food and shelter. Starting with the basics and expanding gratitude for every bonus we experience is a powerful practice.  It casts our lives in a more positive light.  It shifts our focus to what's working well, rather that what's not.  

Daily gratitude begets more of what we love in life. The more we appreciate certain aspects of life, the more we foster them.  (Try it and see -- every day for the next week, write down ten things for which you're grateful.  Aim for ten different items every day. Watch watch happens).


I would argue that daily gratitude IS a matter of life and death.  Without being grateful for what we have and what we experience, what's the point of living? 


*****


What about you?  I'd love to know about your experience with gratitude.  Message me or leave a comment.