We
all do things that aren’t particularly helpful or healthy. Maybe we gossip or overspend or wallow in
negative thoughts. When Karen turned
fifty, she realized she wanted to reduce her alcohol consumption. I was spending way too much time surfing the
internet. Phil’s metabolism would no
longer allow him to munch on late night potato chips without unflattering
repercussions.
What
are your
vices? What habits do you have that
aren’t particularly healthy or helpful?
Activity: What
one habit would you most like to cease? (If
in doubt, pick the activity you’re most embarrassed about).
Do
you want to overcome this habit? Will
you commit to make a change?
If you resolve to reduce or eliminate
this unwanted behavior,
read on.
However if you’re not yet ready, there is no point in reading further. Until
you decide you really want to change, it’s pretty much impossible to overcome
an unhealthy or bad habit.
Assuming
you’re ready to give it a go -- to use turning fifty as an opportunity to
overcome an unhelpful or unhealthy habit-- here’s how:
1. Choose a specific goal
Be
very clear about what it is you do want.
Rather than saying “I’d like to watch less television”, be more concrete
and specific. For example: “I intend to watch a maximum of seven hours of
TV per week” or “I intend to keep the TV off all day until after dinner” or “No
TV during meals” or ‘I hereby declare Friday as TV-free days” or whatever it is
you want to achieve.
2. Make a list of the benefits of changing
What
will be the consequences of curtailing your bad habit? Make a list. Review this list at least once a day, every
day. Refer to this list if you’re
tempted to indulge in your unwanted behavior.
3. List the costs of not changing
Research
the negatives, so you have vivid images to bolster what you’re trying to do. Again, it’s helpful to make a list of the
consequences of your bad habit and to review it intermittently.
4. Find support
Tell
supportive friends and family members about the change you are
implementing. Who can you truly trust to
support you? Ask them for help. Be specific about what you need from them.
Are
there particular people you can contact when you feel cravings?
Is
there a coach or a
mentor who can guide you through the process of overcoming your bad habit?
Are
there support groups available you could join? It’s very, very helpful to connect with other
people going through the same challenges.
Is
there someone with whom you could partner up to make the change? Either
someone going through the same transition (e.g. you’re both committed to stop
smoking) or someone going through their own change (e.g. you’re cutting down on
internet surfing while they are cutting down their junk food intake)?
5. Remove temptation
Find
ways to make it easy on yourself. Physically remove items that trigger,
facilitate or enable your bad behavior from your environment. For example, if you’re dieting, remove
unhealthy and ‘trigger’ foods from your home.
To reduce my internet surfing, I unplugged by connection as much as
possible during workdays and made it a rule to stay offline on the weekends.
Decline
invitations where you can’t honor your commitment. For example, if you’ve decided to lay off the
booze, avoid parties, bars and social events where you know you’ll be tempted
to indulge.
6. Choose a course of action
Option
(a): Cold Turkey
Simply
cease your bad habit.
Think
about how you’d rather be operating. (For example, let’s say you’d like to avoid
snacking between meals). Establish a
clear picture of the behavioral pattern you’d prefer and commit yourself to
those actions. (For example, choose standard meal times and avoid eating except
at those times).
Option
(b): Join an Established Program – and
Follow it
Whether
it’s WeightWatchers or a 12 Step Program, there may well be a comprehensive program
devoted to curtailing your target bad habit. This may involve group meetings plus daily
activities including reading, journaling and making a phone commitment to a
specific person.
Option
(c): Create your Own Personal Program
Decide
exactly what you want to do (and not do). What daily activities will keep you on
track? (e.g. inspirational reading,
journaling, reviewing your costs and benefits lists, checking in with a
supportive person, etc.). To whom can you
make yourself accountable? (e.g. a coach,
friend or habit-busting buddy).
Option
(d): Wean Yourself via Baby Steps
Begin
by measuring and monitoring your normal behavior for a week.
On
the following week, keep measuring and monitoring…but this time, impose a limit
of 10% less than you did last week. If
you are successful for the week, then further reduce your negative activity by
another 10 %…and so on until you achieve your ideal activity level.
7. Monitor and reward your progress
However
you proceed, it’s important to chronicle your progress and to reward yourself
for every day following your game plan.
Recognize
that each day you succeed will make future successful days easily and more
likely.
Reward
yourself for milestones – especially your first day, first week and first
month.
8. Forgive yourself for setbacks.
If
you revert back to your old ways, forgive yourself and get right back on
track.bbYou’re human i.e. imperfect. Do
the best you can and carry on.
If
you get really stuck, ask yourself, what’s really going on here? Dig deeper.
What unhealthy, unhelpful beliefs are interfering with your goals?
9. Focus on
the big picture.
Look
at the overall pattern of progress, rather than focusing on any specific day. “Well,
I didn’t do so well today but I stayed on track for the rest of the week…and
I’m doing much better this week than last week.”
What has worked for you in the past? How have you broken bad habit? Message me or leave a comment below.
