Word Power

Words are one of the most powerful things I know.  They can soothe and wound. They can delight and destroy.  They can entertain and transform.

The most powerful words are the ones we use to describe ourselves.  We might not even be aware of what those words are -- or where they came from.

One of my 50 CreativeProjects during my fiftieth is to work through Julia Cameron’s Vein of Gold. Today’s assignment was to identify ten of the derrogatory labels we recall from childhood.  You know -- those hurtful things someone branded us when we were young -- things like “dreamer” or “flake” or “foolish” or “not focused”.  Those spoken syllables that chided us when we were too naive to know that such descriptors were just that person’s opinion -- and probably said more about that person’s issues and personality than it did about our own.

The next step Cameron prescribes is to convert these negative labels into something more positive, helpful...and probably more accurate.  For example:   “Dilettante converts to interested in many things.  Dreamer converts to powerfully imaginative.... Eccentric converts to original.

It was distasteful to dredge up the complaints that people had about me when I was a child.  For example, my father used to call me “Lady of Leisure”.  I don’t know why.  I had a ton of extracurricular activities and part-time jobs and volunteered on top of it all. Yet every time he caught me daydreaming, he’d call out, in a teasing sing-song voice, “Hello, ‘Lady of Leisure’!”  He probably meant it jokingly, but it stung every damn time he said it.

 

Or, I distinctly recall the afternoon when one elementary school chum, with whom I’m still pals, expressed her exasperation that I “start all these different projects and never finish any of them!”  Now the truth is that I started many different projects and I finished many of them -- and the cosmic Truth is that no-one HAS to finish EVERYTHING they start.  In fact, the physical reality is that it’s absolutely impossible to do so. 

It was painful to reflect on those labels that stuck through adulthood -- things like being called ‘intense’.  I don’t enjoy being branded ‘intense’.  It makes me wince.  And yet, when I think of the people in my life I would describe as being ‘intense’, I don’t mean it as a complaint.  For them, I think of ‘intense’ as a synonym for ‘passionate’ or ‘scary smart’ or ‘focused’.

Which leads nicely into the second part of the Cameron exercise:  turning, in her words, “dross into gold”.  Reframing the negative labels into something more helpful and positive.

This was actually a very satisfying activity.

Okay, my dad implied I was ‘lazy’, but really, any downtime he witnessed was me “thinking” or “reflecting” or “imagining” or, in my own way, “trying to heal”.

My schoolchum thought I was a flake (and probably still does), but I’m perfectly content to be called “interested in many things.”  It’s true!  I am interested in many things!  I’ll shout it proudly!

When I’m slammed for being ‘intense’ in the future, I’ll translate it internally as a complement that I’m passionate, smart and/or focused.  I’m comfortable with any of those three descriptors.

It was helpful, indeed, to identify the negative labels I’d internalized, to exorcise them and to transform them into more helpful, pleasant entities.  I invite you to do the same: 

1.  write down ten negative labels you recall from childhood. 

2.  convert these negative words into more helpful interpretations of your behavior.

Bonus activity:  post your ‘golden words’ places you will see them.

I’d love to know how you find the experience -- message me or leave a comment below.