Final Tally

What a year it's been!  Thanks to my 'Fifty' projects, my fiftieth year has been pretty terrific.  I've done a lot more of the things I love -- and less of those I don't.

My main goal was to enjoy (at least) Fifty Frolics during my fiftieth year.  I not only met this challenge...I doubled it, racking up 100 Frolics during the year.  I so enjoyed these romps, I plan to make this an annual thing:  to aim for (at least) fifty frolics for every subsequent year of my life.
A second goal was to do (at least) Fifty Creative Projects this year. This was not only enjoyable but fulfilling.  I'm especially tickled to have written four books this year.  My novel and a workbook are being edited.  Here are the others:

GOAL SETTING & PLANNING FOR MULTI-TALENTED PEOPLE:  How to figure out what you really want -- and how to actually get it
Available here for Kindle or PC for only $2.99:  http://amzn.to/goalsettingkindle

  

And here's the newest one.  I'm thrilled that this blog and my 'Turning Fifty' projects have led to this self-help guide. It's packed with activities, examples and ideas to make the most of turning fifty -- to make your fiftieth year whatever you’d like it to be.

50 WAYS TO ENJOY TURNING FIFTY: Make the Most of Your Milestone Birthday to Have the Best Year Ever
 
Available here for Kindle or PC for only $2.99:   http://bit.ly/MakingTheMostofTurningFifty
 







Another goal was to take better care of my body -- hauling my middle-aged carcass into (at least) Fifty Fitness Classes, including bikram yoga and zumba.  Mission accomplished -- but the results are not what I hoped. My metabolism seems to be slowing so next year, I'll have to give more attention to my fitness and health.

My other projects were purely for pleasure:  I love cooking and trying new things so it was lovely to make (at least) 50 New Recipes this year.  I adore reading, so I aimed to read (at least) 50 Books this year. Along the same line, I wanted to watch (at least) 50 Films and listen -- really listen -- to (at least) 50 CDs.  I committed to treat myself better...to the tune of indulging in (at least) 50 Treats during the year. Part of that was recognizing how soothing it is for me to be near water -- so I set a goal of (at least) 50 Water Visits.  I also aimed for 50 Visits with Friends.

I'm delighted to report that I met or exceeded every one of these goals.

However, as I reported earlier,  There was one 50 Project that I abandoned early on.  I had thought I would take (at least) 50 'Fun Classes' during my fiftieth year -- and I ended up going to none.  The irony here is that, in any given year over the past decade, I've taken fun classes pretty much every week -- art or acting or even canine related courses.  It's surprising that this, of all projects, is that one that never get off the ground. And yet I'm fine with that.

The point of all my 'fifty projects' was to make the most of my fiftieth year -- to do more of what I love and less of what I don't -- and that's exactly what happened. Even better -- I've inspired others to do the same.


Blog readers have written to tell me about special events they organized or simple pleasures they re-discovered or once-in-a-lifetime trips they had taken.  Ellen treated herself to a month's vacation at a beach house -- honoring her happiest memories from her youth.  Oliver went on safari.  Marloes made a point of attending particular concerts that she otherwise would have let pass her by.  Kate used her milestone as an excuse to sleep more -- and nap whenever she wished -- guilt-free.

I'm concluding this, my fiftieth year, with a sense of accomplishment and great gratitude.

I've also learned that it is possible to make the most of life, even when life becomes challenging.  To my surprise, I managed to make this a wonderful year, despite dealing with a profound personal loss (my mother's passing) and many practical challenges (e.g. managing her estate, 3000 miles away). I learned that even horrible events don't have to define your life -- or an entire year.

I enter my fifty-first year with new optimism and high hopes.  I'm going to give careful thought to how I'd like to live the next twelve months -- and I invite you to do the same.

*****

I'd love to hear from you -- message me or leave a comment below.

How to Break a Bad Habit

We all do things that aren’t particularly helpful or healthy.  Maybe we gossip or overspend or wallow in negative thoughts.  When Karen turned fifty, she realized she wanted to reduce her alcohol consumption.  I was spending way too much time surfing the internet.  Phil’s metabolism would no longer allow him to munch on late night potato chips without unflattering repercussions.

What are your vices?  What habits do you have that aren’t particularly healthy or helpful? 

Activity:  What one habit would you most like to cease?  (If in doubt, pick the activity you’re most embarrassed about). 

Do you want to overcome this habit?  Will you commit to make a change?

If you resolve to reduce or eliminate this unwanted behavior, read on.

However if you’re not yet ready, there is no point in reading further.  Until you decide you really want to change, it’s pretty much impossible to overcome an unhealthy or bad habit.

Assuming you’re ready to give it a go -- to use turning fifty as an opportunity to overcome an unhelpful or unhealthy habit-- here’s how:

1. Choose a specific goal

Be very clear about what it is you do want.  Rather than saying “I’d like to watch less television”, be more concrete and specific.   For example:  “I intend to watch a maximum of seven hours of TV per week” or “I intend to keep the TV off all day until after dinner” or “No TV during meals” or ‘I hereby declare Friday as TV-free days” or whatever it is you want to achieve.

2. Make a list of the benefits of changing

What will be the consequences of curtailing your bad habit?  Make a list.  Review this list at least once a day, every day.  Refer to this list if you’re tempted to indulge in your unwanted behavior.

3. List the costs of not changing

Research the negatives, so you have vivid images to bolster what you’re trying to do.  Again, it’s helpful to make a list of the consequences of your bad habit and to review it intermittently.

4. Find support

Tell supportive friends and family members about the change you are implementing.  Who can you truly trust to support you?  Ask them for help.  Be specific about what you need from them.

Are there particular people you can contact when you feel cravings?

Is there a coach or a mentor who can guide you through the process of overcoming your bad habit?

Are there support groups available you could join?  It’s very, very helpful to connect with other people going through the same challenges.

Is there someone with whom you could partner up to make the change?  Either someone going through the same transition (e.g. you’re both committed to stop smoking) or someone going through their own change (e.g. you’re cutting down on internet surfing while they are cutting down their junk food intake)?

5. Remove temptation

Find ways to make it easy on yourself.  Physically remove items that trigger, facilitate or enable your bad behavior from your environment.  For example, if you’re dieting, remove unhealthy and ‘trigger’ foods from your home.  To reduce my internet surfing, I unplugged by connection as much as possible during workdays and made it a rule to stay offline on the weekends.

Decline invitations where you can’t honor your commitment.  For example, if you’ve decided to lay off the booze, avoid parties, bars and social events where you know you’ll be tempted to indulge.

6. Choose a course of action

Option (a):  Cold Turkey

Simply cease your bad habit.

Think about how you’d rather be operating.  (For example, let’s say you’d like to avoid snacking between meals).  Establish a clear picture of the behavioral pattern you’d prefer and commit yourself to those actions. (For example, choose standard meal times and avoid eating except at those times).

Option (b):  Join an Established Program – and Follow it

Whether it’s WeightWatchers or a 12 Step Program, there may well be a comprehensive program devoted to curtailing your target bad habit.  This may involve group meetings plus daily activities including reading, journaling and making a phone commitment to a specific person.

Option (c):  Create your Own Personal Program

Decide exactly what you want to do (and not do).  What daily activities will keep you on track?  (e.g. inspirational reading, journaling, reviewing your costs and benefits lists, checking in with a supportive person, etc.).  To whom can you make yourself accountable?  (e.g. a coach, friend or habit-busting buddy).

Option (d):  Wean Yourself via Baby Steps

Begin by measuring and monitoring your normal behavior for a week.

On the following week, keep measuring and monitoring…but this time, impose a limit of 10% less than you did last week.  If you are successful for the week, then further reduce your negative activity by another 10 %…and so on until you achieve your ideal activity level.

7. Monitor and reward your progress

However you proceed, it’s important to chronicle your progress and to reward yourself for every day following your game plan.

Recognize that each day you succeed will make future successful days easily and more likely.

Reward yourself for milestones – especially your first day, first week and first month.

8. Forgive yourself for setbacks.

If you revert back to your old ways, forgive yourself and get right back on track.bbYou’re human i.e. imperfect.  Do the best you can and carry on.

If you get really stuck, ask yourself, what’s really going on here?  Dig deeper.  What unhealthy, unhelpful beliefs are interfering with your goals?

9.  Focus on the big picture.

Look at the overall pattern of progress, rather than focusing on any specific day.  “Well, I didn’t do so well today but I stayed on track for the rest of the week…and I’m doing much better this week than last week.”

What has worked for you in the past?  How have you broken bad habit?  Message me or leave a comment below.

LIfe Dreams

Most of us have Life Dreams at different phases in life -- particular things we’d like to do or accomplish during our lives.

Some of these we do.

Some, we don’t.

Of the latter, sometimes we outgrow our dreams.  Maybe as a teen, you aspired to be a rock star...and now, at fifty, you’re content to avoid the musical limelight.  It could be that in your twenties you dreamed of climbing Everest someday...but now that trek appeals less. 

Other unfulfilled dreams don’t go away. They niggle at the back of our minds for decades.  Maybe you always wanted to visit Paris.  Or publish a book.  Or get a bachelor’s degree.  Or learn to tap dance.  Or build an adobe house.

It’s up to you to decide how important your unfulfilled dreams are.  Not how doable or practical they are -- how important are they.  To you.

If you have any important unfulfilled dreams, guess what?  You’re turning fifty.  If you don’t tackle them now, then when?  Take that trip.  Write that novel. Sign up for classes.  It’s only ‘too late’ if you don’t start now. (If you’d like more on this topic, Barbara Sher’s book is highly recommended).

Julian Fellowes wrote his first screenplay at the age of fifty.  It was entitled Gosford Park and won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay.  His subsequent scripts?  The Emmy-award winning television series Downton Abbey.  Are we glad he didn’t think it was ‘too late’ for him to start writing screenplays?

Activity:  As you reflect back on your life, what have been your Big Dreams at different stages of life?  Write them down.  Of these, put a great big checkmark beside those you actually did.  Congratulate yourself for your accomplishment.

Now, for each unfulfilled Big Dream: decide if they are still important to you.  

For unfulfilled dreams that are no longer important to you:  let them go.

For unfulfilled dreams that are important, ask yourself:  what actions can I take to move forward on this? 

Some dreams might require modification.  If not Everest, maybe the easier Kilimanjaro?  Or a mountain closer to home?  Or maybe you just want to spend more time hiking?

Some Life Dreams may seem impossible or impractical at this juncture.  If it still feels important to you, then ask yourself what might be a reasonable substitute.   What would be a similar experience you could take action towards?   For example, if your Life Dream was to be a professional dancer, but it’s not physically possible now, what is?  You could take classes -- or teach them.  You could organize a dance showcase.  You could find similar others and make a practice of going out dancing together.  What aspect or elements of your Life Dream can you experience? 

Your ideas and feedback are welcome.  Message me or leave a comment below.