The Joy of Giving

The joys and benefits of giving are legion.  How delightful it is to bestow kindnesses on strangers.  Or to ‘pay forward’ kindnesses received.  How rewarding to give important people in your life presents.  How soul-affirming to contribute to the greater community.

Research in the field of Positive Psychology overwhelming confirms what you probably know from your own experience:  Giving feels good and begets good.  

Jason hosted one of the best birthday parties I’ve attended.  He insisted that he wanted no presents, no libations, and no contributions to the event.  Instead, he made a point of providing everything...and giving his guests gifts.

            “I like giving,” he explained.  “Giving makes me happy.  I’d much rather give than receive so letting me do that is the best birthday gift you can give me.”

He has a point.  It feels great to give to those we care about.  If we can provide them with something we know they need or want, even better.

Of course you already give the important people in your life gratitude, affection and plenty more.   

As we turn fifty, we have an opportunity to give them something special -- as a way of celebrating our milestone.

Kelli flew her two best friends to a five star hotel in the Florida keys for a long weekend.  It was a treat for them -- and for her.  “We had a blast,” she reports.

 This year, I'm thinking about the significant people in my life and what I can give them.  You can too.

Activity:  Jot down the names of the people you care about most.  For each, brainstorm possible gifts.  It might be a letter that details why they are special to you.  It could be a handmade object of your affection.  Maybe you know they need a particular object or would love a specific service.  Perhaps they just want to spend time with you.

Your ideas and comments are most welcome.  Leave them below or message me.

Stretch Your Mind

One alarming thing I've noticed during my fiftieth year:  my brain is working slower.  Sometimes I have difficulty retrieving the correct word or name or phrase.  (The technical nae of this 'anomia' and it is most annoying).

Under the circumstances.  I'm thinking that this is a great time to give some attention to my mental acuity by doing things like:

* learning something new -- online, in classes or workshops or by other means

* reading

* doing puzzles of all sorts

* playing word or logic games

I know I'm not alone.  Luisa spent part of her fiftieth year learning Italian.  Abby digs doing crossword puzzles.  Chad enjoys taking philosophy courses online.  Jean-Guy is a sucker for Sudoku.

What about you?  How do you keep your mind sharp? Message me or leave a comment below.

 

Play!

Every child, every puppy, every young animal loves to play.  Some of us continue to play throughout our lives...and some of us get wrapped up in school and work and ‘proving’ ourselves and achieving particular goals and taking care of our responsibilities and before we know it, we’re turning fifty -- serious and sullen and stressed out.

Guess what?  Turning fifty is a great time to reacquaint yourself with the delights -- and rewards -- of having fun.

Why play?

* it gives you energy

* it gives you new ideas

* it relieves stress

* it’s a great way to bond with others -- to make new friends or deepen the connections you already

have

* you’ll enjoy your life more

* you’ll be more pleasant to be around

* it’s fun

* it’s good for your body, mind and spirit

Doreen loved making paper mache crafts when she was a kid.  To do so as an adult was a hoot.  Peter was a board game junkie during college.  When he turned fifty, he reacquainted himself with Scrabble, Boggle, Risk and found new board games he enjoys even more.

Activity:  As fast as you can, write down your favorite games and play activities from childhood.

Activity:  As fast as you can, write down your favorite games and play activities from your teens, twenties, thirties and forties.

Activity:  Review your list and circle the items that are most appealing.  Make a point of doing one of them this week.

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Your ideas and comments are welcome -- message me or leave them below.

Find Old Friends

There are no friends like old friends.

Sometimes we don’t like thinking about past life chapters for fear of traipsing into negative memories.  However, if you take the plunge, you will find ‘hidden gems’ in every chapter of your life.  For every ‘jerk’ not worth remembering, there are also some kind people -- friends at the time -- with whom you’ve lost contact for no particular reason.

If you choose to, you can use your fiftieth year to reconnect with these lost, hidden gems in your past.

Facebook and other social media are great for this, but personally, I prefer using the phone.

One thing I learned during my Fiftieth year:  it’s possible -- and fun -- to pick up the phone and call anyone from your past. 

Of course, it’s helpful if you give some context:  “This is a voice from your past.  It’s [insert the name they knew you by] from [insert the place where you knew each other].”  You don’t need an excuse other than “I was thinking about you and thought I’d call.  Is now a good time to chat?”

Using this completely obvious and easy technique, I was able to reconnect with some wonderful people with whom I’d had no contact in decades. These phone calls lead to some rewarding conversations and fun visits throughout my fiftieth year.  I highly recommend it.

I can also tell you how wonderful it is to receive these calls.  Recently, Harry, my long-lost housemate from grad school tracked me down and called me, out of the blue.  It was so good to hear Harry’s voice!  It meant so much to reconnect and to learn about his wonderful (some would say charmed) life in Texas.  It warmed my heart to know that he cared enough to track me down.  (I’m still not sure how he found me, half a country away but he’s always been a clever guy).

Activity:  Is there anyone you’d like to reach out to during this year?  Is there someone you’re not presently in contact with but would like to be?  Is there anyone you remember fondly from the past?  Pick one person.  Find their number.  (If you can’t look them up, ask someone who might know someone who might know).  Call them. 

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What about you?  I'd love to hear about your experiences tracking down hidden gems from the past -- or having nice people from your past find you -- message me or leave a comment below.